You Need a Hot Tub 2013
The Definitive List of Important/Fascinating/Weird People that Need a Hot Tub in 2013
Last year we posted a list of celebrities that we felt either deserved or did not deserve a hot tub for their efforts/escapades. It was a sort of naughty and nice list for 2011. Notables on both sides (you can guess where they fell) included Charlie Sheen, Angelina Jolie, The Donald, Bono, Regis, and the cast of the Jersey Shore.
This year we are changing up the list a bit by just calling it the list of fascinating, important, weird people that most “need a hot tub.” You decide reasons for the “need.” It may include stress relief, better health, improved social life, communicating with aliens, family time, romance. Or, it may just be that these are awesome-strange-stressed-out people and awesome-strange-stressed-out people need a hot tub.
Without further ado, THE LIST:
This now ubiquitous Korean rapper/pop star managed to leverage a catchy hook, unintelligible lyrics, embarrassingly fun dance moves, and the hugantic reach of social media to catapult his song “Gagnam Style” to fame and its video into the top spot on YouTube. More importantly, Psy nabs top honors on our prestigious list. Why, because all Asian hip hop artists, especially those in their 14th minute of fame, need a hot tub.
Psy, you need a hot tub for 2013.
Honey Boo Boo
Wow, would ya look at what reality TV can do. I’m glad The Learning Channel (TLC) has learned me some redneck wisdom this year. However, Boo Boo Child, you need to just mellow out and lay off the go-go-juice (Red Bull/Mt. Dew mixer, holy crap, who gives that to a child?). Our hope is that a hot tub would keep you occupied and make you and your momma go away.
So, Honey Boo Boo, you need a hot tub for 2013.
The country gave you a second chance, congrats. But don’t schedule that second term tour of American golf courses just yet. Before you’re even sworn in again America is back in political gridlock and speeding towards a “fiscal cliff” that seems to mean massive tax hikes, loss of unemployment benefits, and a return to recession and eating Spam for most of us. Hot tubs help relieve stress and improve work productivity, so, roll up the sleeves President and start pushing the brake pedal hard before the American car goes off the fiscal cliff (or build more highway, a more likely solution).
Barack Obama, you need a hot tub for 2013.
Barbara Walters included you on her list and we couldn’t help including you on ours. You’re just so darn cute! Thank you for providing a ray of light this year with your incredible performance in the 2012 Olympics, your smile, and your all around happy thoughts. And, everyone knows that hot tubs help improve flexibility (like you need it).
Gabby Douglas, you need a hot tub for 2013.
So, that didn’t quite go as planned. Facebook’s IPO was a massive mess and stock continues to struggle. That said, you managed to get married in a really cool, low key, T-shirt kind of way. Congrats to you and Mrs. Zuck! Hope that little company with over a billion subscribers can figure out a way to survive. Hot tubs are a great way to enjoy a little quality time with your spouse or to just unwind after “moving fast and breaking stuff.”
Mark Zuckerberg, you need a hot tub for 2013.
Denver Broncos QB, Peyton Manning, hadn’t played football in almost 2 years with a neck injury that looked like it would end his career. Most thought it was a long shot and many, including the Indianapolis Colts, totally counted him out, but Peyton Manning has stormed back with one of the best years of his career. He is currently leading the resurgent Denver Broncos into the playoffs with his robo-neck and crisp passing skills. Maybe Peyton has a secret weapon (NeckBlaster JetPak?). Proof: Bullfrog Spas with the JetPak Therapy System are great for improving athletic performance.
Peyton Manning, you need a hot tub for 2013.
Mayan Calendar Makers
Well, nobody is correct all the time, plus you’re dead so that’s a bit of a bummer. You gave us quite the scare there and became the inspiration for about a billion (I can’t count either) hilarious jokes. Did you know that hot tubs are known to increase blood flow to the brain and improve mental acuity?
Mayan Calendar Makers, you need a hot tub for 2013.
You people are not only brilliant, you’re also suddenly really hip. How did this happen? I knew I should have gone nerd in High School (shut up those who know me). Curiosity, the Mars rover that landed on the surface of the Red Planet in August has produced some of the most exciting moments, coolest images, and best spoof videos of 2012. NASA Geeks, you’re too smart for your own good, try to dumb it down and kick it Jersey Shore style this year.
NASA Scientists, you need a hot tub for 2013.
Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes
You are both totally adorable. How did it not work out? Oh, yeah, one of you is a brainwashed couch-jumping lunatic and the other is a totally normal mom that wants to avoid raising a maladjusted robo-space-child. Well, we all have our “things.” So anyway, you two are just too beautiful not to have a hot tub, even though this looks like 2 separate hot tubs are in order in your case. Tom, hot tubs are great for stargazing and communicating with ETs. Katie, they are perfect place for quality time with the uber-beautiful kiddo.
Tom and Katie, you need a hot tub(s) for 2013.
Since calendars are basically arbitrary now (see Mayans), we here at Bullfrog Spas are declaring this the “Year of the Hot Tub” for everyone. You all need hot tubs this year. Happy 2013!