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50 Ways to Say Goodbye Gets it Wrong

  |   Outdoor Living   |   2 Comments

We all know that pop artists are essentially the modern oracles. Fonts of wisdom and knowledge if you will. This is a foregone conclusion. I mean, who else could take this perplexity: “Before you came into my life I missed you so bad,” and practically turn it  into Harvard curriculum? Yep, in general I’ll be looking to pop stars for my answers and I implore other thinking individuals to do the same.



However, now that this discussion of pop star perspicacity is out of the way let’s take a look at how one pop star got it monumentally wrong. The song “50 Ways to Say Goodbye” by the usually factually impeccable band Train has a glaring issue preventing a willing suspension of disbelief needed to glean the meaning and wisdom otherwise buried deep in the remainder of the song’s thoughtful lyrics.

“50 Ways to Say Goodbye” is a first-person explication of the manner in which the singer plans to avoid telling acquaintances that his girlfriend broke up with him by inventing falsified ways by which she passed on. Seems like a reasonable premise for a pop song to this point, right? Of course it is. The explanations offered for the young lady’s demise are believable until the song comes to a screeching halt at this intensely implausible line: “She drowned in a hot tub.”



While it’s true that accidents happen, even around spas and saunas, passing this off as a likely cause for a pop star girlfriend’s expiration is a hugantic stretch. Hot tub safety is statistically incredibly good, and if one refrains from imbibing whilst soaking, the odds of hot tub drowning go way down. A person likely has better odds of being mauled to death by Ewoks.

Train, I of course cannot inhibit your right to widely spread improbabilities but might I suggest: “She was impaled by a unicorn.”


Jake Ricks

AUTHOR - Jake Ricks

Jake Ricks is the Marketing Director for Bullfrog Spas. In addition to his efforts in marketing leadership roles, Jake has been published in a variety of publications with topics that include the pool and spa industry, outdoors, digital marketing, and content marketing. Jake's passion is fly fishing, bird dogs, and living life outside. When possible he guides on local waters, competes in fly fishing events, designs new fly patterns and is a regular contributor to outdoor blogs and periodicals.

  • Matt Giovanisci | Oct 13, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    I had to read this post when I saw it in my RSS feed because I had no idea what it could possibly be about. It caught my attention and I had to YouTube the song.

    It’s poppy, and kinda lame, but drowning in a hot tub is a strange way to go – especially for a grown woman (assuming).

    Hot tub safety should be taken serious though.

    • Jake Ricks

      Jake Ricks | Oct 17, 2012 at 11:56 am

      You are correct sir. Hot tub safety is extremely important!

      Here’s a little more about what we are doing to produce the safest hot tubs possible:

      We hope readers can understand the tongue in cheek humor intended here.

      Thanks as always for following the blog.

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